I have discovered that I am growing up and they weren’t wrong when they said that there were growing pains…I just thought they meant the physical ones that you get throughout puberty.  Still a wise man named Churchill (no not the nodding dog) once said that it is good to have enemies – as it means that you have stood up for something at some time in your life  – I couldn’t agree more.

I have been taking a small break from Music to concentrate on life and making it better – I will be returning to Music soon…I miss it too much – but a friend of mine said to me that Music is in my soul so it will always be there, no matter how much time I have apart from it. I’m just praying that it doesn’t work for other things in my life…

Does everyone else seem to be lacking in Motivation this year or is it just me? I’ve got so much planned that I’ve got to start getting ready for – massive changes in my life – and I can’t be bothered!! Just rather read my book on my sofa and drink tea – how very English huh?!

Anyways – I’m off to find my motivation – maybe it’s with my Christmas Spirit that I lost in 2010….worse than lost keys I swear!!

Me x

Anyhow…moving on – I’ve got to find the Christmas spirit from somewhere – so far I’ve only been able to find it at the bottom of a bottle of red wine – I’m gonna spice things up now and make that a bottle of Mulled Wine…that should help. I’m going to have a Christmas Mince Pie at lunch time with a Gingerbread Latte from Cafe Nero’s…buy some lovely pressies – have Turkey Sandwiches and maybe….just maybe – this will inspire me to embrace Christmas like I always have done.

Anymore suggestions on where to find the Christmas spirit??? Under a seasonal rock in the garden? In the secret santa present waiting for me at work? Stuck up the Chimney?

When I find it I shall let you all know anyway.

That’s enough of that for now – but yes people – it is true – I am a singlet once more in Life.You know the story – Boy sees girl on the internet, Girl sees boy digging a hole with a stick -  they fall in love, are so blissfully happy that everything seems wrong and POW…insecurities come rushing in…boy hurts girl, girl hurts boy….and SECOND POW…just when you think it could all get better…POW POW POW…Boy blocks you from facebook, breaks your heart and leaves behind all the good because it wasn’t 100% perfect.

Well doesn’t it go to show that everyone makes mistakes – but only a few of us are adult enough to forgive.

Well….shit happens and I’m moving on from it.

Transmission over – song writing must commence and de-boying of my life will begin. I’ve had the hardest (as I am sure he has too) few weeks of my life…however I have realised what truly matters to me – my friends have been top – thank you all so much, my family and what lies inside my heart, my dreams and my future.

I’m doing it for me now – not anyone else and God Damn it I am excited about my future.

Over and Out

Ren x

Not much more to say.

Over and out.

Even now as I stare at the blank page in front of me on the screen I find it unreasonably difficult to write how I feel. It never used to be this way…Songs, poems and writings would pour out of me constantly and no one could stop the flow of creative feelings and thoughts from me. For some reason recently everything has gone in deeper, into a hidden place inside of me.

I guess we have all had times when you go to speak and the words sit stuck in your throat waiting to come out and they just wont…if only you could get one word, just one word then the rest might fall out unexpectedly – but the truth is we swallow them down and they are forgotten for another day.

This is how I feel at the moment about writing songs…I have so much to say and write about that nothing comes out. I’m currently working hard at ridding myself of the one word blockage in my throat…I’m having writing sessions with an amazing writer who is making me see that my predicament is not only common place but not a totally bad thing either.

Songs are now coming.

I am looking forward to hearing their completion and looking back on this time of uncertainty with a smile and knowledge that I have learnt something about myself. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I have been scared for too long of my own thoughts, of peoples reactions to those thoughts, that it hindered me from being me and expressing that in the way that I love to do. I’m not afraid anymore. I hope that the people reading this Blog will look to themselves and be brave today….say something that they mean or feel, stand up for themselves to a bully, or make a positive change in their lives to be ambitious and never, ever let anyone tell you ”you can not/will not be able to do that”.

Thanks for reading.

I have been writing a few blogs to post up here, but they’re all locked up on another Mac computer and I don’t know how to open Mac files on a PC (Doh!) any help – greatly appreciated.  There’ll be some blogs coming along on a schedule – so I hope to make it worth your subscription.

This is just a short one, thanks for reading – and keep in touch via….

…etc.

Irene